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How to Write Offers That Sell

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Introduction

​What You'll Learn
How to use identification, specificity, intensification, social proof, excitment, authority and urgency to write offers for your fitness products or services that actually sell.

Why This is Important
Personal Training is a big deal for clients. It’s not something they are going to buy willy-nilly. They probably think about it for months before ever taking any action and it is very easy for them to justify not doing it and slip back in to avoiding their body problems. Here's how to make sure that doesn't happen.

Step 1: Understand Where Your Client Is

Your intention should be to make it as easy and comfortable as possible for them to begin their journey. Remember that it is in their best interests to get your help. They just need the confidence in themselves, and in you, to take action.

For a potential client to seek you out, find your contact details and actually call or email you to book a consultation is a lot of work. At every point of this process they are having doubts and talking themselves out of it.

Think about yourself when making a big purchase, something that is a stretch financially and will get you out of your comfort zone. Now consider that you’re paying to work hard, be uncomfortable, give up things you like and do things you are not comfortable with. Plus, you have probably tried and failed yourself dozens of times and doubt whether you can achieve it, even after investing in help.

That’s where the client is at.

It’s not that they don’t want or need your help, they absolutely do. It’s scary and doing nothing is easier. They will default to just that given the opportunity. One way to ease their start in to the journey is by making clear offers and giving specific instruction. ​
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Step 2: Understand the Difference Between Offers & Discounts

Offer in this sense is not synonymous with discount. Discounting is one strategy that you could use, but when I say offer I mean it as an invitation. Make an offer for them to work with you. 

The best way to do this is through direct response email, text message and social media posts. Direct response means you are giving specific instruction for how they should take action. To move to the next stage they should [call/reply/fill in form/email/etc].

By identifying that you have a solution to the client’s problem, telling them what you propose to fix it and giving instruction of how to take you up on the offer; you are making the process as smooth and simple as possible. 

If you do not directly invite people to work with you or book consultations, many of them never will. We all need a little kick up the butt to actually move forwards and take action don’t we?

Step 3: How To Write Offers

First decide what product or service you are pushing, or what particular person you are hoping to get in touch with. 

Here is an example of how a very basic offer might look.
​

"I’m looking for people who want to lose weight. Reply to this email to book a consultation.

This isn’t a very compelling offer, but it’s better than them not knowing that you’re available at all.

Now let’s strengthen the offer using a few copywriting techniques.

Identification:​
"I’m looking for new mothers with kids aged 0-24 months who want to lose weight. Reply to this email to book a consultation.

Specificity:
"I’m looking for new mothers with kids aged 0-24 months who want to lose 20-30 lbs in the next 4 months. Reply to this email to book a consultation.

Intensification:
"I’m looking for new mothers with kids aged 0-24 months, who want to lose 20-30 lbs in the next 4 months, to regain your self-confidence and get back to living your life as an outgoing and independent woman, as well as a mother. Reply to this email to book a consultation.

Social proof:
"I’m looking for new mothers to join over 20 other mum’s with kids aged 0-24 months, who want to lose 20-30 lbs in the next 4 months, to regain your self-confidence and get back to living your life as an outgoing and independent woman, as well as a mother. Reply to this email to book a consultation.

Excitement/Newness:
"I’m looking for new mothers to join over 20 other mum’s with kids aged 0-24 months on our brand new and exclusive program, who want to lose 20-30 lbs in the next 4 months, to regain your self-confidence and get back to living your life as an outgoing and independent woman, as well as a mother. Reply to this email to book a consultation.

Authority:
"I’m looking for new mothers to join over 20 other mum’s with kids aged 0-24 months on our brand new and exclusive program, designed by mother of 3 and nationally renowned fat loss expert Jane Doe, who want to lose 20-30 lbs in the next 4 months. To regain your self-confidence and get back to living your life as an outgoing and independent woman, as well as a mother. Reply to this email to book a consultation.

Urgency:
"I’m looking for new mothers to join over 20 other mum’s with kids aged 0-24 months on our brand new and exclusive program, designed by mother of 3 and nationally renowned fat loss expert Jane Doe, who want to lose 20-30 lbs in the next 4 months. To regain your self-confidence and get back to living your life as an outgoing and independent woman, as well as a mother. Entry to the program closes this Saturday September 5th at 12pm. Reply to this email to book a consultation.

​Scarcity:
"I’m looking for new mothers to join over 20 other mum’s with kids aged 0-24 months on our brand new and exclusive program, designed by mother of 3 and nationally renowned fat loss expert Jane Doe, who want to lose 20-30 lbs in the next 4 months. To regain your self-confidence and get back to living your life as an outgoing and independent woman, as well as a mother. Entry to the program closes this Saturday September 5th at 12pm and we have only 2 spaces remaining. Reply to this email to book a consultation.

Discount:
"I’m looking for new mothers to join over 20 other mum’s with kids aged 0-24 months on our brand new and exclusive program, designed by mother of 3 and nationally renowned fat loss expert Jane Doe, who want to lose 20-30 lbs in the next 4 months. To regain your self-confidence and get back to living your life as an outgoing and independent woman, as well as a mother. Entry to the program closes this Saturday September 5th at 12pm and we have only 2 spaces remaining. Reply to this email quoting NEW MUM 150 to book a consultation and save £150 on the program.

Now that’s a pretty loaded offer. I’ve kept the structure the same and only added each relevant technique to strengthen the offer. In the real world I would write it slightly differently so that it reads better and makes more sense, but I want to show how it gets stronger with the addition of each technique.

If I am that person – the new mother looking to lose 20-30lbs and regain my confidence and independence as a woman, I will be desperate to get in touch and hopefully secure one of the two remaining spots before Saturday. Joining a group of 20 odd other women just like me and working with an expert in the field sounds perfect for me right now. AND I’ll even save £150!

You’ve successfully kicked me out of my lethargy with your offer and now I am ready and willing to take the action that I have been contemplating but procrastinating on for months. ​

Step 4: How Often Can I Make Offers?

Most PT’s do not make enough (or any) offers. As an industry we seem to have a general aversion to selling and fear that we will put people off by coming across to ‘salesy’.

The fact is, people will not buy from you if they don’t know that they can – so you’re doing them a disservice and not helping them.

If they are not interested in this particular offer, they will not hold it against you if you otherwise provide them value and entertainment. 

There’s a few ways to make regular offers without coming across as hard selling and harassing people. 
  1. Send 3-4 pieces of content for every 1 ‘sales pitch’ 
  2. Put your offer in the P.S. or at the end of a valuable piece of content that people enjoy consuming. Even if it’s not particularly related, if the content is good people will not care about a 3 line P.S.
  3. Write stories that build up to your offer. Even if the offer is not right for the reader or they are just not interested, everyone loves to read stories and if you present the offer in a story format people will get value and entertainment from reading the story. 
  4. Embed offers within another piece of content. For example right a blog post titled ‘5 Things All New Mothers Must Know About Weight Loss’ and half way through and/or at the end of the post simply segment a section where you post the offer that links out to a separate page.

Step 5: Now What?

If you made sales, great! Repeat the offer or a similar offer and you will make sales again. No need to reinvent the wheel.

If you didn’t make sales, change your offer. It might be that the language you used doesn’t relate with the people you are targeting. Learn more about your target market by asking them what they need help with and use their own language repeated back to them when making your offer.

Frequently Asked Questions

MY JOB IS TO MAKE THE CLIENT FEEL COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO TAKE ACTION?
That's right. A client can either buy or not buy. Not buying is always the default option because it takes no time or effort. Your job, as the writer, is to hep them understand that not taking action is actually more costly.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN OFFER AND A DISCOUNT?
An offer is an invitation for people to work with you. A discount is more of a "Bribe" for people to work with you.

DO I NEED TO USE ALL OF THE COPYWRITING TECHNIQUES LISTED ABOVE?
Absolutely not. You use the techniques that fit with the product or service you are selling. The main thing to remember is t be HONEST in your writing. To a client, nothing is worse that reading one thing and getting another!

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