State Management |
Introduction
A person’s ‘state’ or ‘state of mind’ has a huge influence on their attitude, level of motivation and, therefore, behaviours.
We are constantly changing and accessing different ‘states’ as we move through the different experiences of our daily lives. For most of us, these changes in state are brought about by stimuli, the people, events, situations and the places we find ourselves in. The NLP term for these internal or external stimuli is ‘anchors’. We will discuss ‘anchors’ later on in this lesson.
We are constantly changing and accessing different ‘states’ as we move through the different experiences of our daily lives. For most of us, these changes in state are brought about by stimuli, the people, events, situations and the places we find ourselves in. The NLP term for these internal or external stimuli is ‘anchors’. We will discuss ‘anchors’ later on in this lesson.
For our client’s to be able to perform at their best, we need to be able to help them to bring about a ‘state’ most appropriate for their circumstances. Energetic and lively for a training session, although possibly not whilst relaxing in the bath. Determined and assertive when being pushed through a challenging training session, but perhaps not at home with the family.
It is possible to learn how to control and change ‘state’ so that we can be flexible in our behaviours, which is more likely to help us to achieve our desired outcomes.
Remember that one of the four pillars of NLP is flexibility. Exercising our flexibility can help us to change state, as and when appropriate to the situation, and we need to be able to coach flexibility in others to gain results. Music is a simple and useful tool to help to change a person’s state.
Examples of ‘states’ include confidence, calm, anger, assertive, patient, determined, excited, nervous, timid, curious, judgemental etc. There is no such thing as a ‘good’ state and a ‘bad’ state – the question is, does it serve you in the moment you are in? In NLP, the term ‘State Management’ refers to the ability to chose and achieve the most appropriate state at will.
We can notice a shift in state through our:
Our state is described through our five senses, both internally and externally. What we see, hear, feel, taste and smell (VAKOG).
All we need to say to our client’s is... Remember a time when… They will then re-enter a memory to find that resource. The major feeling or state, connected with that moment, comes back into their system. Have a go at the following:
Notice how your state changes as you remember each experience. You can ask clients to:
This will help client’s to access the appropriate state for the training session they are participating in.
Remember, the mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Remembering a situation will therefore make it seem real.
It is possible to learn how to control and change ‘state’ so that we can be flexible in our behaviours, which is more likely to help us to achieve our desired outcomes.
Remember that one of the four pillars of NLP is flexibility. Exercising our flexibility can help us to change state, as and when appropriate to the situation, and we need to be able to coach flexibility in others to gain results. Music is a simple and useful tool to help to change a person’s state.
Examples of ‘states’ include confidence, calm, anger, assertive, patient, determined, excited, nervous, timid, curious, judgemental etc. There is no such thing as a ‘good’ state and a ‘bad’ state – the question is, does it serve you in the moment you are in? In NLP, the term ‘State Management’ refers to the ability to chose and achieve the most appropriate state at will.
We can notice a shift in state through our:
- Thinking
- Physical energy
- Emotions
- General behaviour
Our state is described through our five senses, both internally and externally. What we see, hear, feel, taste and smell (VAKOG).
All we need to say to our client’s is... Remember a time when… They will then re-enter a memory to find that resource. The major feeling or state, connected with that moment, comes back into their system. Have a go at the following:
- Remember a time when you were relaxing on holiday
- Remember a time when you were nervous
- Remember a time when you were excited about Christmas as a child
- Remember a time when you felt loved and/or appreciated
Notice how your state changes as you remember each experience. You can ask clients to:
- Remember a time when you were unstoppable
- Remember a time when you had self control
- Remember a time when you enjoyed running
This will help client’s to access the appropriate state for the training session they are participating in.
Remember, the mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Remembering a situation will therefore make it seem real.
Association and Disassociation
In NLP, the term dissociation refers to our ability to step outside of ourselves, in our minds eye, and take a view of ourselves within a situation. It’s a bit like removing the wheel from the body of a car and all of its associative parts.
Our mind becomes the wheel whilst we leave our beliefs, values and perspective attached to the body parts. We can disconnect and reconnect from our experiences and our state. Dissociation can be either useful or problematic, depending on how or why it occurs.
When people excel and perform at their best in sport, business and life, they are usually doing it in a fully associated state. They will tend to be focused on detail, seeing the event from their own eyes, hearing from their own ears and feeling with their own body’s sensations. They are an active participant.
When we are associated we feel the feelings that go with the experience. We are said to be in ‘the zone’ and we can be blissfully unaware of time and the world around us. We can often be operating at a level of unconscious competence.
When dissociated we have feelings about the experience. It is as if we have removed ourselves from the situation and are looking onto it, as we are someone else. This can be great for reviewing or evaluating a situation and our own performance in it.
Dissociation can also be useful for distracting us from physically or emotionally painful experiences. In a dissociated state we can be unemotional, dispassionate and impersonal about our own behaviour and gain more information about the situation we are in.
Dissociation is an excellent state for when we become ‘stuck’ in negative emotions. When we are feeling nervous or anxious. Conversely, if we are dissociated at a party, feeling as we are ‘out of our own skin’ then we can become self-conscious and lacking in confidence.
Again, it is neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’ to be dissociated; it is what state serves us best in the situation. Developing flexibility in being able to shift our client’s attention from a dissociated to an associated state can help to improve their performance in the moment.
How to use associated and dissociated language when coaching:
Our mind becomes the wheel whilst we leave our beliefs, values and perspective attached to the body parts. We can disconnect and reconnect from our experiences and our state. Dissociation can be either useful or problematic, depending on how or why it occurs.
When people excel and perform at their best in sport, business and life, they are usually doing it in a fully associated state. They will tend to be focused on detail, seeing the event from their own eyes, hearing from their own ears and feeling with their own body’s sensations. They are an active participant.
When we are associated we feel the feelings that go with the experience. We are said to be in ‘the zone’ and we can be blissfully unaware of time and the world around us. We can often be operating at a level of unconscious competence.
When dissociated we have feelings about the experience. It is as if we have removed ourselves from the situation and are looking onto it, as we are someone else. This can be great for reviewing or evaluating a situation and our own performance in it.
Dissociation can also be useful for distracting us from physically or emotionally painful experiences. In a dissociated state we can be unemotional, dispassionate and impersonal about our own behaviour and gain more information about the situation we are in.
Dissociation is an excellent state for when we become ‘stuck’ in negative emotions. When we are feeling nervous or anxious. Conversely, if we are dissociated at a party, feeling as we are ‘out of our own skin’ then we can become self-conscious and lacking in confidence.
Again, it is neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’ to be dissociated; it is what state serves us best in the situation. Developing flexibility in being able to shift our client’s attention from a dissociated to an associated state can help to improve their performance in the moment.
How to use associated and dissociated language when coaching:
Associated Coaching Language |
Dissociated Coaching Language |
See it from your own eyes |
See yourself doing that. |
Hear it from your own ears |
What is she/he saying? |
Feel it through your own body |
What does she/he feel about that? |
Imagine the smell through your nose |
What else could she/he be doing? |
Imagine the taste in your own mouth |
How else could they respond? |
Being disassociated encourages a client to be a ‘passive observer’ during an exercise. This will result in a reduced performance in that moment. Encouraging them to be fully associated in the exercise will ensure that you get the last few repetitions from them or that extra bit of speed and distance.
New Behavior Generator
John Grinder set out the basic steps of the New Behaviour Generator in the late 1970’s. It’s an elegant strategy that can be applied to any situation that requires personal flexibility.
People create new behaviours by creating new mental maps in their mind. The more complete the mental map, the more likely they will action their new behaviour. The process is strongly led by association and dissociation.
If we presuppose that our client’s have the resources they need, then taking action is just a function of organising and accessing what is already within them. The New Behaviour Generator is a ‘how to’ process, which involves acting ‘as if’ they can do something different.
The steps are also supported by eye accessing movement. Use the following as a script with one of your client’s. You can inject this simple exercise into the warm up or cool down component of any training session. The exercise is based on mental rehearsal.
People create new behaviours by creating new mental maps in their mind. The more complete the mental map, the more likely they will action their new behaviour. The process is strongly led by association and dissociation.
If we presuppose that our client’s have the resources they need, then taking action is just a function of organising and accessing what is already within them. The New Behaviour Generator is a ‘how to’ process, which involves acting ‘as if’ they can do something different.
The steps are also supported by eye accessing movement. Use the following as a script with one of your client’s. You can inject this simple exercise into the warm up or cool down component of any training session. The exercise is based on mental rehearsal.
EXERCISE:
NOTES: If they have difficulty in thinking of new behaviours in this situation:
- Identify a behaviour you would like to change and a specific example of when you demonstrated that behaviour. Watch yourself in this situation, as if you are watching yourself in a movie (Visual remembered).
- When you have watched this through, ask yourself ‘What 3 new behaviours or responses would you prefer in this situation?’ e.g. Take a step backwards, start laughing, drink some water, have a shower.
- When you have identified 3 new responses that could be satisfying in that situation, return to the situation and this time run the film through and watch yourself with the first new behaviour (Visual construct).
- When you have run through the first one ask if you are satisfied with this new behaviour. If the answer is YES run the film again, this time from the perspective of yourself, fully associated, step inside the film and experience yourself in the same situation and demonstrating the new behaviour (Kinaesthetic construct). If the answer is NO alter it in some way to make a difference.
- Repeat the process for the other 2 behaviours that you have identified.
- After completing this ask yourself ‘having experienced this situation differently am I completely satisfied that these behaviours are more satisfying?’
- If the answer is YES, think of some time in the near future when this situation or a similar one may occur. Imagine yourself going through that situation with the new behaviours that you have developed. If you are still satisfied, compliment yourself on having new choices.
- If you are not completely satisfied recycle to an earlier stage and repeat the process until you are comfortable that you have new options in this type of situation and feel confident that they are appropriate for you.
NOTES: If they have difficulty in thinking of new behaviours in this situation:
- Ask them if there is some other type of situation where they have behaved in a way that they would like to incorporate into this situation – if the answer is yes – use this behaviour and continue the process.
- Is there someone else, real or fictional, who they believe would behave appropriately in this situation? If yes go through this sequence:
- Watch the other person go through this situation
- See yourself go through the situation doing what the other person did. - Experience yourself with the new behaviour, if it is ok, go back to stage 3 above, and continue the process.
Submodalities
We have already mentioned that the way we experience the world is through our five senses and that every experience has a sensory structure to it.
These five senses are sometimes referred to as Modalities. Intuition is often referred to as the sixth sense.
Within our unique mental map, each picture, sound, feeling etc. will have its own finer distinctions. In NLP, these finer distinctions are referred to as submodalities. We know that a state of happiness is different from a state of sadness. Submodalities are a tool, which help us to describe the difference, the secret ingredients that go to make up these states and our mood.
We can think of NLP as a composer of music. Our five senses, modalities, are the notes and the specific submodalities become the tempo, key, rhythm or pitch. Change the key or change the rhythm, and the mood of the music changes entirely, just as our state will, if we change the submodalities.
A change in submodalities can have a very significant affect on the way we perceive a situation and our state. They can amplify a positive or pleasurable experience and they can reduce a negative or unpleasant emotion. Taking control of submodalities means that we can take control of our state and our responses in any situation. In short, we can change the meaning of what is happening in our life. Below is a table of submodalities , the finer distinctions of the structure of our experience.
Let’s take at look at comparing the submodalities of two different experiences. Test on yourself and then test on a client. Note the differences.
These five senses are sometimes referred to as Modalities. Intuition is often referred to as the sixth sense.
Within our unique mental map, each picture, sound, feeling etc. will have its own finer distinctions. In NLP, these finer distinctions are referred to as submodalities. We know that a state of happiness is different from a state of sadness. Submodalities are a tool, which help us to describe the difference, the secret ingredients that go to make up these states and our mood.
We can think of NLP as a composer of music. Our five senses, modalities, are the notes and the specific submodalities become the tempo, key, rhythm or pitch. Change the key or change the rhythm, and the mood of the music changes entirely, just as our state will, if we change the submodalities.
A change in submodalities can have a very significant affect on the way we perceive a situation and our state. They can amplify a positive or pleasurable experience and they can reduce a negative or unpleasant emotion. Taking control of submodalities means that we can take control of our state and our responses in any situation. In short, we can change the meaning of what is happening in our life. Below is a table of submodalities , the finer distinctions of the structure of our experience.
Let’s take at look at comparing the submodalities of two different experiences. Test on yourself and then test on a client. Note the differences.
EXERCISE:
Think of a time when you were really happy. Work through the table above and highlight the submodalities that apply to that experience:
Note down the submodalities of that happy experience.
Now, think of a time when you felt sad and run through the list again:
Think of a time when you were really happy. Work through the table above and highlight the submodalities that apply to that experience:
- As you think about being happy and what you can see ask yourself, is in colour or black and white? is it set in a frame or panoramic?, Is it bright or dull? fuzzy or sharp? etc.
- Are there any sounds? If so, are they close or far away? loud or quiet?, coming from the front, side or back of you?, tuned or muffled? etc.
- Are there any feelings in or on your body? If so, where are they?, what shape are they, is there a temperature or pressure?, If so, is it warm, cold, hot, heavy or light? ect.
Note down the submodalities of that happy experience.
Now, think of a time when you felt sad and run through the list again:
- As you think about being sad and what you can see ask yourself, is in colour of black and white? is it set in a frame or panoramic?, Is it bright or dull? fuzzy or sharp? etc.
- Are there any sounds? If so, are they close or far away? loud or quiet?, coming from the front, side or back of you?, tuned or muffled? etc.
- Are there any feelings in or on your body? If so, where are they?, what shape are they, is there a temperature or pressure?, If so, is it warm, cold, hot, heavy or light? ect.
Equally it is likely that we would experience confidence with a different structure to fear, excitement or nerves. It may only be a small difference, but there will be a difference. The wonderful thing about using SUBMODALITIES is that we can help ourselves and others to change the meaning we put on an experience changing the SUBMODALITIES.
The following exercise can be used with a client, in a personal training session, whilst they are warming up, cooling down or at a rest period. Many of the NLP exercises can be used in this way.
EXERCISE:
When performed correctly, this technique can be used to reduce or increase motivations and desires for any action or behaviour. It can be used to reduce or increase desires for any foods, goals and actions as well as rid us of a headache or backache.
All this, simply by changing submodalities. This process can also be used to change beliefs from those that disempower us, to those that empower us. It can also be used to change feelings about an unpleasant experience to that of a more pleasant experience.
- Think of something that you feel de-motivated about. Something that you would like to feel more motivated about doing. It can be anything from going to the gym to cleaning out the garage. Call this experience A. Rate your level of motivation for this task from zero to ten.
- List the SUBMODALITIES of that experience as you think about doing it.
- Now think of something you feel highly motivated to do. List the SUBMODALITIES of that experience. Call this experience B.
- Think of experience A again. Without changing the content of your thoughts, change the submodalities to match those of experience B.
- As you now think about experience A, rate your level of motivation for this task from zero to ten now. Has it changed?
When performed correctly, this technique can be used to reduce or increase motivations and desires for any action or behaviour. It can be used to reduce or increase desires for any foods, goals and actions as well as rid us of a headache or backache.
All this, simply by changing submodalities. This process can also be used to change beliefs from those that disempower us, to those that empower us. It can also be used to change feelings about an unpleasant experience to that of a more pleasant experience.
Changing Beliefs
You can use this exercise to help a client to become free of limiting beliefs. You may need to take 15 to 20 minutes out of a training session to complete this exercise so it is best performed at the start or the end of a session.
EXERCISE:
- Think of a belief that you hold about yourself that limits or disables you in some way, that you would like to change. You might start by saying “I’m no good at…..” or “I can’t………” Call this belief A. Rate your belief in being able to do this or be this kind of person on a scale of zero to ten.
- Now, think of a belief about yourself, that you used to believe that is now no longer true, this can be anything from believing that you were once a smoker to believing in Santa Claus. Alternatively, think of something that you currently doubt will happen to you, for instance doubting that you will win the lottery this week. Call this belief B.
- Make a note of the submodalities of belief B. The location of the images, sounds and feelings is very important to note along with the other finer distinctions.
- Now give yourself a shake, look at the clock and break state. Breaking state means to shake off the experience so that we don’t ‘muddy the waters’ between one state and another.
- Think of belief A. Now move the images, sounds and feelings to the same location as belief B and then give it the same submodalities of belief B.
- NOW, rate your belief in being able to do this or be this kind of person on a scale of zero to ten.
Notice how the limiting belief has changed, if not totally disappeared. Now create a more empowering belief that will help your client to reach their desired outcome.
Creating a More Empowering Belief
- Think of a belief that would be really useful to have. For example “ I will lose weight” or “I can win that race” or “I will have a 32 inch waist”. Call this belief C. Rate your belief in being able to do this or be this kind of person on a scale of zero to ten.
- Now, think of something that you currently believe to be absolutely true. E.g. “I will eat breakfast tomorrow” or “My name is…… “. Call this belief D. This should be a ten on the scale of zero to ten!
- Identify the submodalities of belief D. Again, location is an important submodality.
- Now, think of belief C and transfer the submodalities of belief D into this experience. Rate your belief in being able to do this or be this kind of person on a scale of zero to ten.
Beliefs are a fundamental component if our mental map. It is not enough ‘just to believe’ if we don’t have the right skill, training and practice. However, if we possess all three, success is almost certain. Conversely, we can be in procession of skill, training and expose ourselves to practice, but unless we believe in our ability, we are unlikely to succeed.
The Swish Pattern
The swish pattern is a submodality change technique and can be used for almost any kind of pattern interrupt intervention and is particularly useful in changing client habits. You may need to take 15 to 20 minutes out of a training session to complete this exercise so it is best performed at the start or the end of a session.
Use the following as script was developed by Richard Bandler and will help to redirect your client’s unconscious programmes, their automatic pilot.
Use the following as script was developed by Richard Bandler and will help to redirect your client’s unconscious programmes, their automatic pilot.
EXERCISE:
- Identify Context: First identify when or where you are stuck. When or where would you like to respond differently to the way you do now?
- Check Ecology: How will this benefit you? What would be the consequences of staying as you are? Are you sure you want this?
- First ‘Cue’ Picture: Imagine a large screen in front of you. Identify what you see just before you start doing the behaviour you don’t like. Make sure that you are associated – seeing the event through your own eyes. If possible, run through the motions physically or in your minds eye. Make a picture of what you see at that moment – it may include parts of your own body, like your hands. Make the picture large to fill the frame. Now set it aside for the moment.
- Create outcome picture: Now create a second picture of how you would see yourself differently if you had already accomplished the desired change. What would you be doing instead? Make sure that you are disassociated – seeing yourself as an observer. Keep adjusting this picture, and it’s SUBMODALITIES, till it becomes really attractive to you.
- Set up: Go back to the ‘cue’ picture of the unwanted behaviour and have it fill your fame. See it big, clear and bright. In the bottom right hand corner of this frame, put a small dark image of how you wish to see yourself differently – your desired state. Make this picture really small and dark so that you cannot see the detail in it.
- Swish: Suddenly make the small dark picture grow big and bright, to cover the first cue picture, as fast as you can say SWISH.
- Break State: Then blank out the screen or open your eyes. This lets your brain know that the process is complete.
- Repeat: Repeat the swish 5-6 times, at a rate of one per second, breaking state between each swish.
- Test: Try to get the first ‘cue’ picture back. If it just as bright and bold, repeat until it is difficult to get the ‘cue’ picture back and it becomes dim and distant.
Anchors
An anchor is a STIMULUS that triggers a STATE, THOUGHT AND EMOTION. The anchor is the association we make between the stimulus and the response.
This is reminiscent of ‘Pavlov’s dogs’, the discovery of the Russian winner of the Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine (1904) and the concept of classical conditioning and conditioned reflexes.
Pavlov’s experiment involved ringing a bell each time he gave his dogs some food. Over time, the dogs become conditioned to salivate just by the sound of the bell ringing, even when food was not present. The BELL became the stimulus and the response was to SALIVATE.
Typical examples of every day anchors are as follows:
Visual – red traffic light, a flashing blue light, a baby’s smile, a mothers frown, a sunset, a sentimental photograph, a favourite colour, Signs (e.g. big yellow M)
Auditory – Children laughing, a favourite song, radio jingles, chalk on a black board, seagulls, waves crashing on the rocks, a baby crying
Kinaesthetic – stroking a cat or dog, wearing clothes that fit well, soft bed sheets and plump pillows, fresh towels, warm home, slimy slugs
Olfactory – scent of flowers, aftershave or perfume, hospitals, popcorn at the cinema, manure in the field, freshly baked bread, aroma of a coffee house
Gustatory – semolina at school, biting into a ripe lemon, chilled water, chocolate, snails in garlic butter, cough mixture, rice pudding
Some or all of these things will provoke a response within us. That response will either be positive, negative or neutral. Anchors are operating all of the time, mostly out of our awareness. We don’t really think about touching the brake when we see a red light, we just do it. We might not have thought about buying fresh bread when we popped into the local supermarket but the smell may temp us. We are not always aware of the smells that attract us to someone else. These are just some of the everyday examples of anchors in action.
An anchor can be an incredibly useful tool to help us to trigger a chosen response. We can help our clients to set up anchors for confidence, determination, calm and many other useful states. This is a fairly quick exercise that can be performed during rest periods of any personal training session.
EXERCISE:
- State – Identify a state that you would like to replicate at will, e.g. confidence. Remember a time when you felt confident and become fully associated into that state. See what you see, hear what you hear and feel. Amplify the submodalities to make it as heightened an experience as possible.
- Trigger – Choose a trigger, which is most effective for you, visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory or gustatory. You could pinch 2 fingers together or smell some lavender on a hankie or think of a precise colour. Fine tune your choice of trigger so that it has the greatest effect and can be accessed sitting down as well as standing up.
- Unique – The more unique the trigger, the more precise and effective your anchor will be. You need to be able to replicate this trigger as accurately as possible.
- Timing – The best time to set your anchor is just before the peak of the state. About 95%. Remember a time when you felt confident, step into the state and fire your trigger. Do this at least three times, layering in some more detail into the state each time.
- Testing – You will know that you have correctly set your anchor by firing it and discovering if it triggers the desired state.
Collapsing Anchors
Anchors can be extremely useful in helping to bring about a desired state. They can also be effective in bringing about an undesired state. Collapsing an anchor is a process that allows us to break a negative anchor. An anchor may be created naturally through association. If the anchor results in an undesirable state then we can use collapsing techniques to break the association.
Examples of where this could be useful are as follows, collapsing:
This exercise is best performed at end of a personal training session. The trainer may identify the negative state, during the session through discussion.
Examples of where this could be useful are as follows, collapsing:
- a negative response you have to work or live with
- the desire for certain foods or drinks
- a negative response to exercise
- nerves before a performance or speaking in public
- anxiety about an upcoming event
This exercise is best performed at end of a personal training session. The trainer may identify the negative state, during the session through discussion.
EXERCISE:
- Think of a negative state and set up an anchor to support it (e.g. pinching fingers together). Make it a quality experience. REMEMBER A TIME WHEN YOU WERE NERVOUS.
- Now, think of a positive state that would be more useful in that situation, and set up a different anchor to support it (e.g. pinching your ear lobe). Again make it a good quality state by asking yourself TO REMEMBER A TIME WHEN YOU WERE PERHAPS CALM.
- Firstly, fire off the negative anchor, (THINK OF THAT TIME YOU FELT NERVOUS) and then the POSITIVE ANCHOR in tandem (BREATHING WELL AND STAYING CALM).
- Release the negative anchor first, add pressure to the positive anchor and then release it.
If performed correctly, this exercise should result in a resourceful and CALM state arising immediately after a NERVOUS state occurs.